For most of us feeling safe is about having a home that is safe from violence. We think of living in a neighborhood low in crime, and being able to go to work and school without feeling threatened. Many of us are fortunate enough to go about our days without even thinking about our safety. For others, feeling safe is something we long for and don’t know how to achieve it.
For those of us who experience trauma, feeling safe takes on a new context. The body moves into a state of hyper vigilance. It’s always looking or the next threat. No one can be trusted, not even the ones you love the most.
Experiencing early childhood trauma meant this hyper vigilance started at a vey young age. Age two to be exact. From that age on, feeling safe was gone. From then on, safety was only an illusion. I was less concerned with strangers and more concerned with people who were close to me. Unfortunately, this impacts relationships. I can logically know someone would never hurt me, but internally there is a low buzz of uncertainty.
This under the surface feeling that I’m unsafe showed up when conflict started to brew with those I’m closest too. I lived in constant fear that someone would get hurt even though that has never happened. This had feeling had been around so long; it felt normal. This scripture reminded me that this is not what God intends for us.
God’s a safe-house for the battered,
a sanctuary during bad times.
The moment you arrive, you relax;
you’re never sorry you knocked. (Psalm 9:9-10 MSG).
With the help of professional, I was able to see Jesus in the midst of every trauma I have faced. I was able to let him take the fear and rid the monsters that still linger inside. He became the safe place I was longing for, for all of these years. I have changed physically. My body can relax. I feel freer, lighter. My closest relationships are stronger.
He came for a battered me. He left me feeling safe. He is my sanctuary. The gratitude in my heart for how it has changed is overwhelming. The beauty is He offers it to everyone.
Do you have low level feelings interfering with your relationships? Do you feel safe? Are you able to trust Him to be your sanctuary? Share your experience here and breathe life and bring hope to others.