I hear the bedroom door open. I hear the deep rumble of his voice. My heart starts to pound. I want to run in and rescue. I try to calm myself down, but the feeling of weight on my chest continues to grow. My logical brain knows that I am safe and that everything is okay. My body, however, is responding to what it thinks is an imminent threat. My body is in a state of fear and wants to run. I know that hearing actual words and not just the tone of voice helps, so I mute the TV. I hear, “I believe in you, I believe in you.”
In 20 plus years of marriage, I have never been given a reason to think that someone would get hurt. Thankfull, my wonderful hubby understands that this fear and anxiety comes from a little girl within me who would hear that tone of voice and know it meant someone was going to get hurt.
When I heard him say, “I believe in you, ” I began to cry. The disconnect between my cognitive/logical brain and my body’s visceral response has finally become too much to fix on my own. Not only was my husband telling my son, “I believe in you,” but I also heard it as God saying, “I believe in you.”
“One last shaking, from top to bottom, stem to stern.” The phrase “one last shaking” means a thorough housecleaning, getting rid of all the historical and religious junk so that the unshakable essentials stand clear and uncluttered. (Hebrews 12:17 MSG.)
8 Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:8-9 NIV).
As God has been encouraging me to deal with these fears, I have held on to scripures like these. God promises to clean out this historical junk and He promises to be with me every step of the way. Taking these steps have come with reluctance, fear, and anxiousness. Deep inside is this little light filled with hope. A light that knows what God can and will do for his beloved. I have often said that there is nothing special about me and yet He brings me through these challenges everytime without fail. I have hope that this time will be the same.
Do you need to hear God say, “I believe in you?” Listen carefully, He is.
What are you facing that God is bringing you through? How is he molding your heart? Share your experience here and breathe life and bring hope to others.