Sometimes, I find my brain stuck on the hamster wheel of life. Agitation is usually the trigger and will lead to hours of rehearsing conversations in my head. I will mull over every possible angle and every possible response to exhaustion. When I find myself stuck, I will look for distractions. I will go so far as to pursue laundry and dishes to get the hamster wheel to stop. Later, I fall into bed exhausted only to have the wheel start spinning again. I am instantly wide awake and unable to shut down for the night.

This happened a few nights ago. I was revved up and could not get my thoughts to slow down. I was rehashing everything while at the same time thinking that I desperately need to fall asleep. I decided to try mindfulness and focused on my breathing. This lasted about five seconds and I was off again. I tried again. Failed. I tried thinking about other things. Failed. I tried putting a pillow over my head which usually always works (and I have no idea why). Failed. I prayed and asked God to help me fall asleep. Failed. Then I heard the quiet whisper of the Holy Spirit, “Trust God.” Hmmm, I think I trust God, so what do I do with this. I reflected on this Proverb.