I’m crabby! I know that’s hard to believe. The men in my house will be happy to confirm. It is easy for me to move into crabby mode when I feel like I’m being forced to do something I don’t want to do. The photo of this majestic sunset was taken under such conditions.

It was the dream come true, family vacation of a lifetime. We woke to do a sunrise hike of Diamond Head. We proceeded to hike, swim, sight see our way around the island. We had found a shrimp truck and had shaved ice. We packed a lot into day one when my husband drives down this remote road that just ends. He says he wants us to do one more hike to the northern most part of the island. I was tired. Then he told me it was 2.5 miles each way. No way was I hiking another 5 miles.  I was done. He kept prodding. I kept resisting. Finally, he says we can just go part way.

Knowing I was in for a long evening, I conceded. We started down this trail. I was not sharing my husband’s enthusiasm for the destination. He kept urging us to go a little farther. I said, “There’s rain coming.” Before long it was raining. I was wet, tired, and grumbling. I was told I could go back to the car sit by myself and wait endlessly for their return.

I continued to trudge along, saying not so nice things in my head. That’s how I felt today. When I read this in my devotional, “I want you to become increasingly preoccupied with me (God).  The default mode of most people is self-absorption (Young, 2016).” Ugh, I was definitely feeling self-absorbed and finding it difficult to get out of my own way.

19 We love because he first loved us. 20 Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. (1 John 4:19-21 NIV).

Turning my thoughts toward God does soften me. It does help me get out of my own way. It reminds me what love does. Am I still crabby? A little bit, but it is subsiding just as it did on the trail.

On the trail, we finally reached the “end” but one could go around the gate and go a little further. I was officially done. They went on and I waited in the rain, cold and crabby.  It wasn’t long when Kellen came back to walk back to the car with me. Curt was going to run and catch up with us in a few minutes.

When Curt finally caught up with us, he was excited. The short amount of time he spent on that point was his favorite part of the trip. This was the one thing he wanted to do while on vacation. I was thankful he had that experience, and that I hadn’t completely wrecked it for him.  We turned around and saw this beautiful sunset that serves as a reminder of beauty and sacrifice.

Focusing on God and what love does pulls me out of my self-absorption and puts my heart back online. How do you deal with being crabby? Share your experience here and breathe life and bring hope to others.

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