I recently heard the difference between like and love. We like because of something, and we love despite. I like the Vikings because I grew up watching them with my dad. I love my children, husband, family despite the times they have hurt me. They also love me despite the times I have hurt them.
As much as I appreciate this distinction, I fear I and others have turned love into like. I want to put conditions on those I love. I want to shut people out of my life if they hurt me, violate me. I also want to shut out people I have hurt. I don’t want to acknowledge the pain I cause others so I avoid them. If we allow a relationship to for years or even decades, eventually we will hurt each other. We will cause one another pain, yet we choose to love despite the flaws and the hurt.
It is not the easy way forward. It challenges us to choose grace, to choose forgiveness, instead of hate, retaliation, or separation. Outside of situations where one’s safety is the source of the choosing to love any way heals, restores and shows the depth of God’s love for each one of us.
27 “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them.30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you. (Luke 6: 27-31 NIV)
To love despite what someone does to me is hard. Being forgiven and loved despite what I have done to others is a gift to big to deserve, and it changes me. It allows love to grow within me. It makes loving others despite what they have done suddenly easy, or at least easier.
Are you able to love despite what someone does to you? Have you experienced that kind of love? Share your story here and breathe life and bring hope to others.