Reluctant Blogger


One year!!! I can’t believe I have managed to post a blog once a week for an entire year. That might not sound like a big deal to you, but for me it was a huge undertaking. An undertaking, I wasn’t looking for. Calling my self reluctant is putting it mildly. In fact, I spent a year and a half running the other way. 

First, I don’t like to write. I know what you are thinking. I have written a book, I blog weekly and I’m working on a second book. None of this was ever my idea. What I want and what God wants for me have not always been the same thing. This is one area where he has had to work really hard to get me to comply with His requests.  

It was a huge step of faith for me to write the book I felt so strongly that He wanted written. And to be honest, there were countless times during the writing of the book that I would stop and thank God for what I’d written. I knew what I had just put on paper or on the computer did not come from my mind.

As I was finishing grad school, I was diagnosed with a learning disability. It’s called written expressive language disorder. I have struggled with writing my entire life, but I had managed to work around it. In elementary school I came up with alternate ways of taking timed exams to finish in time. I did what was needed to get by. I didn’t want anyone to think I wasn’t smart.

Really, I didn’t think I was smart enough. I felt like I was faking my way through school and was certain someone would figure it out. Well, someone did, but it wasn’t until grad school. My advisor asked me what happens when I go to write. I told him that I’d have all kinds of ideas in whirling around in my head and when I would go to put them on paper, I would lose half or more. I couldn’t retrieve my thoughts once they were gone. He told me I had a learning disability and to go figure it out. I did and the result was talking my dissertation (large research project) into a tape recorder and transcribing it. Once I had it on paper, I could work with it. So, I’m not kidding when I say I don’t like to write:0)

I never had that problem with the book.

There’s more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit! (Romans 5:3-5 MSG)

I was learning perseverance, so when it was time for the book He poured out. I was left overwhelmed by His goodness. For some reason though, I still fought the idea of a blog. I didn’t want to make a commitment to writing weekly. A little patience and perseverance and a year later, I’m starting to see the blessings in the commitment. I never lose when I follow through on what He calls me to. Maybe next time I won’t be so reluctant.

What about you? Is God calling you to something that makes you uncomfortable? Are you willing to step out in faith? Leave a comment and share your story.

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