It’s supposed to be spring in Minnesota, but nine inches of new snow has given me reason to doubt. I believe, if we are honest with ourselves, we all have times of doubt. We all have questions. I grew up in the church and learned all the right stories, but I didn’t own it for myself. So, why do I believe?
Much like Thomas, I needed more to accept my faith. Reading the Bible wasn’t helpful at that time.
24-25 But Thomas, sometimes called the Twin, one of the Twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. The other disciples told him, “We saw the Master.”
But he said, “Unless I see the nail holes in his hands, put my finger in the nail holes, and stick my hand in his side, I won’t believe it.”
26 Eight days later, his disciples were again in the room. This time Thomas was with them. Jesus came through the locked doors, stood among them, and said, “Peace to you.”
27 Then he focused his attention on Thomas. “Take your finger and examine my hands. Take your hand and stick it in my side. Don’t be unbelieving. Believe.”
28 Thomas said, “My Master! My God!”
29 Jesus said, “So, you believe because you’ve seen with your own eyes. Even better blessings are in store for those who believe without seeing.”
30-31 Jesus provided far more God-revealing signs than are written down in this book. These are written down so you will believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and in the act of believing, have real and eternal life in the way he personally revealed it. (John 20: 24-35 NIV).
Why I believe – I was on a mission trip as a teenager where I was experiencing God’s grace in lives of the people we served. During one of the worship services, a re-enactment of the crucifixion took place. Something about it, combined with the week in mission, and it all became real. Jesus died for me. It became personal. It overtook my heart. It was no longer a history story. It became real.
Since, there have been many moments of wrestling, questioning and doubts. It has never been about getting it right or irrefutable proof. Scripture is full of the same questions and doubts. It’s about a relationship about that lives out love, grace and mercy. All of the moments of wrestling and questioning have been places of growth in my faith, places where God has shown Himself in unexpected ways. Sometimes I have to look back to find it. This is why I believe.
Why do you believe? What are you wrestling to understand? Share your experience here and breathe life and bring hope to others.