Broken, Wounded, Worthless – No More


Welcome to “Clean Your Inner House” blog.  None of us get through this life without being wounded, myself included.  I don’t know about you, but I had become so accustomed to my brokenness interfering in my life that it felt normal.  I thought it was just “who I was,” my personality, my emotional pattern.  But feeling broken, wounded and worthless is not what God intends for us.  I would read scriptures like this one:

25-27 So don’t turn a deaf ear to these gracious words. If those who ignored earthly warnings didn’t get away with it, what will happen to us if we turn our backs on heavenly warnings? His voice that time shook the earth to its foundations; this time—he’s told us this quite plainly—he’ll also rock the heavens: “One last shaking, from top to bottom, stem to stern.” The phrase “one last shaking” means a thorough housecleaning, getting rid of all the historical and religious junk so that the unshakable essentials stand clear and uncluttered.

28-29 Do you see what we’ve got? An unshakable kingdom! And do you see how thankful we must be? Not only thankful, but brimming with worship, deeply reverent before God. For God is not an indifferent bystander. (Hebrew 12:25-29 Msg).

I always believed God could do a thorough housecleaning for others just not for me.  Then He did it for me.  He set me free from the wounds of childhood sexual abuse.  All of it. There were parts of my life that I didn’t know were dirty until He cleaned them. The result has been greater intimacy with God and my spouse and a greater capacity to love others in my life.  I have no doubt that if He would do it for me – He will do it for you.

All that said, there are more areas of my life that need cleaning.  So I’m inviting you to join me in doing some inner house cleaning knowing that God is not an indifferent bystander.  He cares deeply about every aspect of your life.  Where has God been doing some cleaning in your inner house or where would you like to experience some cleaning?  Leave a comment and let me know.

Broken, Wounded, Worthless – No More

Broken, Wounded, Worthless – No More 

14 thoughts on “Broken, Wounded, Worthless – No More

  1. Mary,
    This is just plain you. From the snowy beautiful outdoors to you holding the window to you giving your heart and laying it all out there.
    This song ran through my head (you know I think in songs….) with the pictures and the words.
    Of course its a Twila Paris song, how’d you guess….
    Can’t wait to go on this journey with God and you.
    God Bless this page, those who read it, and those whose lives are gonna change… and they will.
    Love you Sister friend in Christ!!!

  2. Mary…thank you for sharing your life experiences with us, to encourage healing. I appreciate your willingness to be real, authentic, and delve into the topics of life that so often get swept under the rug. Bless you friend in this new endeavor! I am so proud of you!!

  3. I love this post! It is so full of truth about the amazing power of God and His desire to heal us, clense us, and set us free! I am blessed to know you and your story Mary and the journey you have been on following God’s will, whatever it takes! All of what you have shared rings so true in my life and the freedom I have today is unparalleled to anything I have ever felt, believed, or experienced!

    I too felt like He would and could do anything for everyone else, but I was not worthy of such a miracle, and quite frankly, did not believe it would ever happen. I believed God heal me in so many ways from childhood sexual abuse and rape but, somehow,( the devil), I still held out on how completely He could do His work in my life, in my heart, in my head, and in my soul.

    Until April 2011, I believed all the “house cleaning” that could happen already did and the remenants would just be scars/sores/left overs. . Years of counseling, A & D treatment, and life in recovery still left me with lingering and pervasive emotions and gaps in my spirit. I thought there would never, never, be a day I would be free of thinking about the abuse that occurred in my life or having a memory of some kind. BUT, God doesn’t leave anything behind!

    I experienced His healing love and power in a very real and sensual way that night in April…through prayer and just gut wrenching honesty…just me and Jesus. That night I experienced His total grace and love through freeing me of my own personal hatred and shame of all those things I had experienced, but mostly of myself! He was a very present House Cleaner in my room and took from me that shame and hate and replaced it with love.

    Over the next days, weeks, and now year and half, I have grown to love myself fully and I know whose I am and who I am in Christ. No longer does my abuse have a hold on me. It is what happened but it is not who I am! For that, I praise God! “If Christ sets you free, you are free indeed!”

    I hope to be a vessel of hope and a message of Christ’s love to women wherever they are on the journey of healing. It is a journey. One day at a time. And God is with me.. you… all of us!

    1. Thanks for sharing your story. I hope you will continue to share as we move forward. You have so much to offer.

  4. Awesome. I love your blog so far! God is renewing afresh my view of relationships and the deep connections of non-judgmental joy and love he desires us to share between others. He is doing this through the love of my husband and my lovely little baby God is gracefully allowing me to care for!

  5. Well said! I can hear your voice speaking the words!
    I wonder how much “junk” I carry that I am, yet, unaware of?
    God Bless you on this journey!

  6. You all are so kind. Thank you so much for the encouragement. I can’t wait to see what God does with this new adventure.

  7. Mary,

    I admire your courage, strength, devotion and passion for healing. And your sharing the love and faith in our Lord. I know he brought you into my life for all those reasons and more. I look forward to continuing to clean my inner house with you my friend.

    God bless you my sister in Christ.

  8. Awesome, we all need to check those skeleton’s in the closet, the cob webs our relatives were reluctant to talk about! I know this and the book will be a blessing that will open eyes and free hearts! You have a great ministry! I pray Father keeps opening doors!

  9. Mary, I feel a certain kindred spirit with your spirit and this allows me to share in this format. Otherwise, I would not. God has worked miracles in my life as I allowed and invited the Holy Spirit to live inside me on a daily basis. Without this, housecleaning of my heart and soul would not and could not have been possible. I am still in process of housecleaning and I surmise this will continue until I die. For many years I was broken over and over again with childhood abuses, including sexual and then later on rape. Further down the road I invited a series of self-deprecating activities to enter my life and permeate my soul. These included multiple addictions along with anger, rage, depression and bi-polar diagnosis.

    What I know is this…God wants a relationship with me on a daily basis, he wants me to come to him FIRST for guidance and direction and to align my will with his. All things are possible through him, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy or that I get my way. Life is not a pursuit of happiness but rather peace and contentment is a by-product of doing the next right things according to the heart God has given me. I also know I am not to judge others, EVER. Their path is THEIRS alone. People make their own choices and then live with the consequences, good and bad. It is futile to think I have the power to save or change anyone else. I am on this earth for the specific purpose of loving others (especially those closest to me and the children entrusted into my care), helping others, being kind and showing God’s spirit in all circumstances. Perfection is never the goal, but rather balance.

    Thank you for sharing this Mary (and others). I find your courage inspiring and feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in your words. I simply adore you my dear. Watching God work in your life has been amazing and the sense of peace around you is contagious. Praise God!!

    1. Stephanie,
      Kindred we are. Thank you for your bold sharing. It is my prayer that this becomes a community of encouragement and support for all of us as we continue to clean house. You are right. It is a life long process. It has been a joy to watch God move in your life!
      God is so Good.

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