“God, You’re kidding-right?” Have you ever said this to God? My rant was more like this: “God, are you kidding me? There is no way. I’m not doing it. I can’t do it. I’m incapable of doing it. I’m not the right kind of person for that. You didn’t make me that way. NO, I’m not doing it.
I’m sure you are dying to know what brought this on. My husband came down into the kitchen and said, “Why don’t you just stay home with Papa?” As the words, “I’m not a home health care provider,” came out of my mouth a chill went down my spine. I instantly knew what God wanted me to do. Curt was fine with my response, God, however was not.
You see, about a month earlier, my husband’s 86 year-old grandfather had come to live with us. My husband had been diligently seeing to all of his needs. He took care of his meds, helped him change his clothes, bandaged his bedsores, and took him to his appointments. We were staring down the start of the school year with a plan to hire in help while we were at work. The problem was that we still didn’t know how much help Papa needed. His health was improving and his needs were continually changing.
I reluctantly suggested that I take a leave of absence from work until we figured it out. During that time, Curt continued to do all the work. I fed Papa, drove him to a few appointments and kept him company. This was a lot of work and stress for my husband and that was when he suggested that I stay home.
I was terrified of having to care for Papa’s bedsores and changing him. I did NOT want to see his bummy. Fear is an understatement to the panic racing through me. But how could I say “no” to something I knew God was calling me to do? I’m sure this is how Moses felt. Except that Moses was much quicker to comply than I was.
4 God saw that he had stopped to look. God called to him from out of the bush, “Moses! Moses!”He said, “Yes? I’m right here!”5 God said, “Don’t come any closer. Remove your sandals from your feet. You’re standing on holy ground.”6 Then he said, “I am the God of your father: The God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, the God of Jacob.”Moses hid his face, afraid to look at God.7-8 God said, “I’ve taken a good, long look at the affliction of my people in Egypt. I’ve heard their cries for deliverance from their slave masters…It’s time for you to go back: I’m sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people, the People of Israel, out of Egypt.”11 Moses answered God, “But why me? What makes you think that I could ever go to Pharaoh and lead the children of Israel out of Egypt?”12 “I’ll be with you,” God said…(Exodus 3)
Here’s the deal. God took away all of my fears. Every time I threw up a reason I couldn’t stay home, God literally took it away including my fear of changing his bandages. He made it easy. He made it a joy.
Here is the best part. It was a great experience. I’m so glad I got to spend those brief six months with him. We had great conversations. He told me stories of going to church on Christmas Eve as a child. He loved my cooking. My heart grew at least three sizes because of that experience and it is a continual reminder that God knows what is best for me. When I’m afraid, I know I can trust him.
What is God calling you to that you are afraid to do? Is He wanting you to step out of your comfort zone? Are you willing to trust that He knows what you need? Share your challenge here and be encouraged.