That’s not what I wanted. Life has a way of throwing me curveballs. Things I don’t want. They are hard, challenging and usually leave me questioning what is next. It can be a diagnosis, a change in job or other significant unwelcome change.

I find it particularly unsettling when I don’t know what is next. What is the next job? What is the long term outcome of the diagnosis? I want assurances that I’m not going to suffer and that what is next is better than what is now.

Good morning!
You’re beautiful with God’s beauty,
Beautiful inside and out!
God be with you. ^29-33 She was thoroughly shaken, wondering what was behind a greeting like that. But the angel assured her, “Mary, you have nothing to fear. God has a surprise for you: You will become pregnant and give birth to a son and call his name Jesus. He will be great,
    be called ‘Son of the Highest.’ (Luke 1: 28-33 NIV).

I think it is fair to say that Mary would also have said, “Not what I wanted” when she received the visit from the angel. Her life was about to change in an unimaginable way. She was unmarried and going to conceive the Savior of the world. That is far bigger than any unwanted change I have faced. I’m trying to learn from her response.

Mary said, “I am the Lord’s servant. May your word be fulfilled.” She chose to be joyful in her circumstance even though moments before she was shaken. I aspire to that level of trust in God. My heart knows it to be true, but my mind needs to run all the options considering all possible outcomes. I need to let myself be angry for a period. I need to give my body time to process the stress of the situation. Then I work on gratitude and joy. It is not a straight line. I can waffle back and forth from anger to gratitude for a time before landing in a place of joy.

When life hands you not what you wanted, how do you respond? Are you able to choose joy? Do you need time to process? Share your story here and breathe life and bring hope to others.