The way of the cross is filled with suffering. No one wants to suffer or even talk about the possibility of suffering. It’s natural to want to avoid it. We focus on what happened after the cross, the hope, grace and salvation.

One of the ways I have moved through my own suffering is to use it as a testimony. Finding a purpose in it, has allowed me to understand why it happened. Why me. It has been an important part of my healing, but it might not be the purpose at all.

I do believe that God can use all circumstances for good, however I don’t get to know all things or see all things. What if the purpose in my suffering has nothing to do with a testimony or me in any way? What if the purpose in my molestation, my rape is about the perpertators? What if it is about their restoration, their salvation? The way of the cross is about suffering. It is not about me finding my purpose in it.

³¹ He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again.³² He spoke plainly about this, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. ³³ But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. “Get behind me, Satan!” he said. “You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.” (Mark 8:31-33 NIV).

It hurts to think about suffering for the sake of the perpetrator. For the cross to matter, for Jesus’ life, death and resurrection to have been for me, it also had to be for the ones who hurt me. God’s love for them is as great as it is for me. God loves the unloveable. God loves the rapist. As hard as it is to put that to words, it is the way of the cross. It is what makes love so profound, so overwhelming. It makes me angry and grateful all at the same time.

Are you willing to suffer for someone you see as unloveable? Share your story here and breathe life and bring hope to others.