Failing as a mom


This past weekend my eldest son offered to make us pancakes.  He had this look of dismay when he realized that all of the pans were dirty. I didn’t understand his confusion and told him to wash one by hand. That’s when I got, “Huh?” I suddenly realized that I had failed as a mom.  In the age of dishwashers, I had never taught my 13 year old how to wash a pan by hand.  So, I took the pan and the dish soap and walked him through the process step by step. And, lucky him, from now on when I ask him to “do dishes,” I’m going to remind him that it includes washing the pans that can’t go in the dishwasher.

In all seriousness, we all fail and we all fall short of the mark. For me, personal failure is much easier to deal with then failing my children. When my 13 year old was in second grade, he was being bullied daily by another child on the bus. This had been going on for three months before Curt and I found out about it. I felt sick. How could this being on this long and us not know about it? My son was changing.  He had lost his spark. He had lost his confidence. I had missed it. How could I have let this happen to our son?

Once we were aware, we worked with the school and quickly brought an end to it.  We worked with our son to empower him to tell us if this ever happened again.  Slowly, he regained his confidence and his spark, but the mama guilt lingered. I don’t know about you, but I am really good at beating myself up when I fail. Easter is a great time to be reminded that I get a do over.

One of my favorite hymns, Because He Lives, has a chorus that beautifully speaks to a wounded heart.

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,                                                                      Because He lives, all fear is gone;                                                                               Because I know, He holds the future,                                                                                   And life is worth the living                                                                                                      Just because He Lives!

The gift of Jesus’ death and resurrection is pure grace and hope.  There is a do over. There is a tomorrow and He holds my future.  When I fail, I can go to my Savior for forgiveness and get back to living into the future He holds for me.

Please let me encourage you.  We all fail.  We all have situations in our life where we would like a do over.  Take it to your Savior.  He will set you free so you can step into the future He’s holding for you. Remember He has a purpose and a plan for you (Jeremiah 29:11).  The future is bright. Don’t let failure hold you back.

What do you need to take to our Savior? What failures are you still holding onto? You deserve the do over. Remember life is worth the living just because He Lives!

Tell me your favorite parenting oops. We all have them.  We all feel better when we realize we are just like everyone else. And, don’t forget to teach your teens how to wash dishes by hand:0)

2 thoughts on “Failing as a mom

  1. Oops? how many do you have time for me to list?
    Somedays, by virtue of opening my eyes, that day was off on the wrong foot…but….
    I do get confirmation now that they are in their 20’s that I must’ve gotten some days done …. pretty good with God’s Help!
    One of them will say something that makes me just stand there with my mouth dropped open, and I think “Hey that was my kid that just said that!” or those moments when its so profound that my eyes well up and I clutch my hands to my heart and say “thank you God for giving me this kid, this moment, this affirmation”…. yes the guilt of motherhood will carry with us to our graves… we can thank Eve for that….LOL!!
    but we also get those moments when our hearts swell and we understand God the Father saying “this is my child with whom I am well pleased”….

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