Toilet Paper

Are there things in your life that have to be “just so?” Maybe you like your towels hung in a certain way, clothes folded in a certain way or in this case toilet paper a certain way. Or, maybe someone you love has a bad habit you would love to change. If so, you will relate to this.

When Curt and I were first dating, it I didn’t take long for me to realize that he didn’t put
the toilet paper on the holder. In the house I grew up in the toilet paper was always on
the holder and the paper had to roll over the top of the roll. The most important rule, that
everyone in the house knew, was to replace the roll if you were the one who emptied
it. Curt would put out a new roll. It just never went on to the holder. This continued into
marriage. I never said anything about it. I just continued to put the roll on the holder
every time I found it sitting on the ledge. Many years passed and recently I forgot to put the toilet paper on the holder. It’s shocking, I know. My husband put the roll on the holder and then scolded me for forgetting. My reply was something like, “You have got to be kidding. You never put the roll on.” He responded, “Well, I guess I’ve become accustomed to it.” I was so stunned and maybe somewhat twisted that I intentionally put a roll on upside down to see if he would turn it over. He did. I had succeeded in changing him. This opened the door to opportunity and left me contemplating the value of moving his shoes to behind the door. His size16’s are a great tripping hazard. Then reality set in and the thought of moving his shoes every day for the next 14 plus years to accomplish this change was not worth my effort.

So, you might be thinking, “That’s cute, but so what?” This got me thinking about how long it takes me to learn a lesson God is trying to teach me. I know 14 years would not deter God from pursing His will for me. One of those lessons that took way to long for me to learn is that God sees me as worthy of his love and grace. So many times I have heard that we don’t deserve God’s grace and love. I have even said it myself. I always felt unworthy of God’s grace. Yet those statements seemed to contradict grace.

My feelings of unworthiness come from this world not from God. We are created in
God’s image. What He created is good (Genesis 1). Over and over again in scripture
God chooses His children. He goes after the least likely and shows them how great
His love is for them. Consider Moses, David or Paul. Were they worthy? God saw in
them what He had originally created in them. His image. His heart. Why would God go
to such great lengths to express His love for us if we are unworthy? Why would he send
His son to the cross if we aren’t worth it? God is so patient and persistent. He pursues
His will for us no matter how long it takes us to get it. He loves us that much. He wants a relationship with us that much. Embracing His freely given gift of worth has been life-giving to me. It has meant trusting Him with my inadequacies rather than listening to what the world tells me. It has given me strength and courage to take steps into what He’s calling me to and become the person I knew existed deep inside.

God sent His son to the cross because you are worth it. He will continue to pursue you until you see it. What lesson is God trying to teach you? Are you struggling to embrace the fullness of His grace? What steps are you going to take to step into the person He is calling you to be?

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