One of the hardest things I have learned to do is tell myself, “I do forgive myself.” I think this is true for many of us. I am way harder on myself than I am on others. I hold myself to an unattainable standard. I don’t allow myself to make mistakes, yet I make them all the time.

In my healing journey, I have worked through forgiving my abusers. I have let go of the grip they had on my life and my relationships. It was that forgiveness that allowed me to move forward in healing.

I realized that I needed to apply that same grace to myself. It became clear to me that this scripture applies to myself as well as others.

^14-15 “In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part. (Matthew 6:14-15 MSG).

I have to admit this has been harder than forgiving others who have hurt me. I had to move from saying, “I will forgive myself” to “I do forgive myself.” It took time. It took listing specifics that I was forgiving myself for.

I forgive myself for past choices made out of brokenness. I forgive myself for not parenting without harsh words and unfair demands. I forgive myself for “allowing” the abusive acts. The list goes on and on.

Once I started to verbalize exactly what I was forgiving within myself, I started to feel the shift. I started to like myself more. I started to feel comfortable in my own skin. My overall stress level diminished. I freed up space within myself for life to happen. I had more capacity to love others. I needed to get out of my own way.

God’s command to forgive is about our own hearts, and our own healing. God also commanded us to love. To love as we are called to requires forgiveness. That forgiveness includes ourselves. If we are to move toward the likeness of God, we must forgive. It is the hardest best work.

Do you tell yourself, “I do forgive myself?” Are you ready to have your heart expanded? Are you ready to show kindness to yourself? What holds you back? Share your story here and breathe life and bring hope to others.