Feeling anxious or nervous is one of my least favorite emotions. I prefer to be anxious no more. The sense of judgment. The sense of not being good enough rising up within. What lies am I believing? What words am I telling myself?
I’ve been leading worship on and off for 30 ish years. Lately, it has been over 4 years since rehearsals and standing in front of a microphone to sing. I am not a strong vocalist. My nerves have always gotten in the way. If there is at least one other person singing with me, I am fine. Me soloing equals panic.
One of our pianists from church reached out about starting up again. I agreed to help. Then it started. That jittery feeling started to rise up. What if I can’t hold pitch? What if I sound terrible? Maybe it would be better if I just said no. How I wanted to be anxious no more.
Some would say, “Just get out there and do it.” After all of these years, that has not changed anything. I still compare myself to others. I still fear others picking a part every note I sing. Where is my confidence?
I’ve picked you. I haven’t dropped you.’
Don’t panic. I’m with you.
There’s no need to fear for I’m your God.
I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you.
I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you. 11-13 “Count on it: Everyone who had it in for you
will end up out in the cold—
real losers.
Those who worked against you
will end up empty-handed—
nothing to show for their lives.
When you go out looking for your old adversaries
you won’t find them—
Not a trace of your old enemies,
not even a memory.
That’s right. Because I, your God,
have a firm grip on you and I’m not letting go.
I’m telling you, ‘Don’t panic.
I’m right here to help you.’ (Isaiah 41:10-13 MSG).
This scripture reminds me that my focus in the wrong place. Worship is about God. If I turn my focus off of criticizing myself and back on God, how would that change my experience? When I focus on God, I feel free. I’m no longer worried about potential mistakes. My perfectionism disappears. He has a firm grip on me. I am anxious no more.
How do you face your fears? What do you do when your nerves get the best of you? Are you able to focus on God and not yourself? Share your story here and breathe life and bring hope to others.