Once every couple of years, I manage to take a weekend at the cabin by myself. Hubby and kiddos stay home leaving me with two days to spend in reflection. I pray, I reflect and I write. This has become a welcome time to my soul.

This scripture sums up why this time is necessary and all the ways that I need God.

14-16 I can anticipate the response that is coming: “I know that all God’s commands are spiritual, but I’m not. Isn’t this also your experience?” Yes. I’m full of myself—after all, I’ve spent a long time in sin’s prison. What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise. So if I can’t be trusted to figure out what is best for myself and then do it, it becomes obvious that God’s command is necessary. (Romans 7:14-16 MSG).

One of the questions I have spent much reflection on recently is why do I have strong emotional reactions in unnecessary places? It often happens when I least expect it. A comment from a spouse, colleague, friend spurs within me a negative response. The comment wasn’t negative, but my body perceives it that way. My heart rate increases. I start to feel warm. My stomach churns. I feel bad. Most of the time I can recognize this and not verbally react to these emotions, but not always. Sometimes words fly out of my mouth faster than I can stop them. I press send without having someone else read my reply first. I do what I don’t want to do.

This weekend of reflection has allowed me time to spend with God and search for the root of these unwelcome reactions. Yes, there are times when anger and frustration are justified. These are not those times. I have started to uncover the roots to these reactions. It’s in noticing the reactions within myself and taking time to reflect with God. The only way to stop doing what I don’t want to do is through Him. He reveals. He guides. He instructs. He changes me from the inside out.

Do you do what you don’t want to do? Are you noticing reaction within that you aren’t proud of? Do want this to change? Lean into Him. God will show you the roots. He will help you change. Just ask Him.

How have you learned through reflection? Share your story here and breathe life and bring hope to others.

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