Self agency is simply the sense of control and autonomy that someone has over their life, thoughts, and actions. It is easy to assume that each person feels they have this in their life. However, violence, abuse, chronic disease are just a few things that can take away one’s sense of agency and it is my prayer for all of us this new year.

Over the years, I have tried many things to regain a sense of agency physically, mentally, and emotionally. Changing eating habits, exercise, working with a mental health professional have given me significant progress in this area. Sometimes all of this work doesn’t provide the results we seek.

 “‘Everyone who hurt you will be hurt;
    your enemies will end up as slaves.
Your plunderers will be plundered;
    your looters will become loot.
As for you, I’ll come with healing,
    curing the incurable,
Because they all gave up on you
    and dismissed you as hopeless… (Jeremiah 30:16-17 NIV).

I have made a choice for myself that from the outside could appear selfish and extravagant. I had similar thoughts as I wrestled with this decision. Was I making the decision for the right reasons? I sought input from friends and family. The full support of others and especially my husband let me know I was on the right track. A session with my mental health counselor ensured my motivation was in line with my overall wellbeing. Yet, none of this was enough.

Much prayer was required. God reminded me of the promise to cure the incurable, to rid us of junk, to restore us from our brokenness. It became clear. God was saying, “I’m giving you self agency. I’m giving you something you have always wanted and struggled to fully achieve after decades of work.” This revelation brought tears, humility and tremendous gratitude. It has forever changed the way I look at “self improvement.”

It is easy to feel like life is happening to you, that you have no control over how you feel or what happens around you. God reminds us that there is healing, that He wants to partner with us in having agency in our lives. Agency is a part of wholeness. Agency allows us to lean into God’s call on our lives and be a testimony to those around us.

Do you have self agency? Have you always had it? Do you long for it? Share your story here and breathe life and bring hope to others.